The Hadwen Family of Lancashire

KENNETH ELBERT HACKING

1 August 1910 – 24 September 1991

By Donna Hacking Erickson (1993)

In the History of Henry Franklin Hacking as a short life sketches for each of his children

Kenneth, Henry Franklin and Martha Wilcox Hacking’s seventh son, was born in Magrath, Canada and was three when his family moved to Idaho. Marion taught him to read and he had read much from the Bible before he was six. His memory and math were excellent.

Kenneth believed in working hard and in paying all his debts. He worked several summers on the Wilcox dry farm. When they'd open up a new field with gang plows, Kenneth always took the outside round. He used six horses, three abreast. He had measured Ol’ Joe, the middle wheeler horse's stride. After the first round he could tell how many rounds they would have to make, how many days it would take to plow it, and how many acres there were in the field. If Kenneth said he'd done a piece of work, it was done.

In 1935 Kenneth rented his brother Marion’s twenty acres. He said he could go on a mission if he'd get $1. a hundred for his potatoes. Kenneth left in January 1936 for the Eastern States Mission. Because of his age, his honesty end relieblility, Kenneth was entrusted with several companions who had physical or spiritual weaknesses. In all cases he nurtured them to strength. While he was serving in Bangor, Maine, he met a beautiful young lady, Laurel Small. It didn't take long for Kenneth to know she was the one. He told the mission president how he felt and thought he would be transferred. The president knew Kenneth would keep the rules and he needed him in Bangor. When Kenneth’s release time was near the president said he thought there should be on understanding between Kenneth and Laurel. Kenneth asked her if she would like him for her lord an master. When she hesitantly answered, “I guess so,” he patted her on the head. Laurel's Grammy said she could go out west but she had to wait six months before she married him. Six months later, on Sept.1, 1938, they were married in the Salt Lake Temple. Their children are Janet, Margaret, Carolyn, Kenneth, Rosalie, Rulon, Eileen, and James.

Kenneth farmed and milked cows for the next 39 years. His herd of Grade A Holsteins consistently took Producer of the Month awards in a three county area. But then, why wouldn't a cow produce when she was named for a family member, a friend, or someone like Elizabeth Taylor? Milking was a family affair and Kenneth made it fun with songs, joking and teaching. Kenneth knew about the stars and delighted in sharing his knowledge with his children, groups of scouts, or unyone interested.

Kenneth loved scouting. Most of his life he was either a scout master, counselor, or committeeman. He taught Sunday School and was second counselor in the Archer Ward Bishopric. He loved the scriptures, knew them well, and attended the temple often.

He served as secretory of the ditch company [Sunnydell Irrigation District] for many years. One summer the ditch washed out again and again. Kenneth went to the hill and prayed. When he got up, he thought of stringing old cars on chains. This was done and it worked. He always believed in prayer.

In 1975 when Kenneth's rheumatism got bad he rented his farm and cows and went into Real Estate. Three years later he sold his dairy herd and used the money to buy a trailer court. He put in blacktop driveways and planted lawns. One by one Kenneth and Laurel bought the good trailers in the court and refurbished them for renting.

Kenneth and Laurel served as missionary companions in Iowa-Illinois in 1979-80. He said he taught folks the gospel and Laurel loved them into the church.

In 1989 Kenneth got a manager for the court and told Laurel he wanted to see the Black Hills. They had no bank cards and little cash. They always found someone who trusted their checks for motel rooms or gas. They had a wonderful time. Of course, every check was good.

Kenneth's health was failing and he mostly stayed at home until his death. He left a legacy of honesty, integrity, and love for the gospel. On the day of his funeral, thunder clouds were brewing on the hill. His daughter Rosalie said, "Dad loved a storm."

MARRIAGE ADVICE
Kenneth Hacking, February 1988

I heard on TV the other day that, in this country, the average marriage lasts 9+ years. Who wants to be average? In our own marriage we have always planned to have our whole lives together and eternity together beyond this life. I feel that my wife is the best person in the world for me to be married to; she feels that I am the man she was meant to marry. We had a lot going for us when we married. We had the same religious faith, we were old enough to know our own minds, yet young enough to adjust to each other. We came from similar economic status families, poor but self-sustaining, grounded in hard work and individual enterprise. We were both healthy with no alcohol, tobacco, or other drug habits to detract from our mental or physical powers, and we were totally committed to each other and to making our marriage a success. We had supportive relatives, who helped us in many ways. We lived in a community where stable marriages were the norm. No couple living on the two mile long road we live on has ever been divorced. Some have divorced after moving away, some have been divorced before they moved here, but none have divorced while living here. Some have been married more than sixty years. We are in the fiftieth year of our marriage. Neither of us had any previous marital or extra-marital ties or obligations to hamper our union.

When two people marry they make certain vows, promises, commitments. How well they keep these promises will largely determine how well their marriage will prosper. If each is to keep these promises he or she must change. One may say, “I’ll never change! You must take me as I am!” Well, “As I am” is not a very stable substance. Whether we know it or not, whether we consent or not, we change every day. If we recognize the inevitability of change and intelligently and wisely give direction to that change we are very likely to succeed.

Sometimes it is not easy to change—we feel comfortable in our faults and we are loathe to give them up, so we rationalize and try to excuse and forgive them. For example, I always found it difficult to take orders from my wife; form anyone, in fact. Even when I had already decided that this is the best course, if she comes along and demands that I do this thing, I feel rebellious, I lose my pleasure in doing it, and I have to force myself to go ahead with it. She hates to take orders from me, too, and I see that trait in my children and their children. I think nearly all people feel that way to some degree.

Bearing in mind it is a human trait. I will venture to try and tell you some of my ideas of what makes a successful and happy marriage.

Trust and integrity are a must. Love without them is torture and will be likely to die. The only way to keep trust is to earn it, to be trustworthy.

Love needs to be demonstrated, over and over again as long as you are together, vocally and actively. Jewelry, flowers, romantic dinners and such things have their place in this and are important, but I believe empathetic nurturing in every day life is even more important. My wife remembers a number of times when I came in from irrigating in the middle of the night and found her still canning peaches or tomatoes which were getting too ripe to keep longer. In each case I sent her to bed and spent two or three hours finishing the job. She thinks that is the strongest declaration of my love.

Selfishness is an enemy of a good marriage. Selfishness is the enemy of any kind of good life. The teachings and example of Jesus Christ show how important giving and unselfishness are in eternal life. They are also very important in every day life. People who are altruistic and giving are happier than selfish, self-centered people. That is particularly apparent in widows. Widows like Mary Luthy, Erma Magleby, Gwen Sutton, and Trieste Robison, who are active in serving their neighbors and church, continue to have good lives after losing a good husband; but widows who are self-centered tend to cuddle their grief and let it ruin their lives.

More than half of the marriages that do not last have money troubles. Being fiscally responsible; keeping spending below income, planning for the future, saving money and putting it to work wisely all help to provide a sense of security which is an important element in a happy marriage.

I believe it is important that the sexual side of marriage be kept clean and decent. I think pornography, extra marital sex, homosexuality, partner trading, and such things put more strain on a marriage than it should have to endure. I believe the revelations concerning the Bakkers and Swaggart should be examples of what not to do rather than as excuses to follow their examples.

Marriage partners need to be aware of the inevitability of consequences—to know that they cannot do a wrong thing and feel that “We just won’t count this.” Consequences may differ with circumstances. If one is not caught he avoids public censure and punishment but he cannot avoid self censure and loss of self esteem.

I believe that a religious influence is vital to any meaningful life. Without eternal values that religion brings we become just earthly beast with the highest IQ and we are free to do foolish, evil, harmful things without remorse and guidance. Most of the woes of the people of the earth come because they willfully or ignorantly disregard the principles of Christianity.